I'll confess: I may or may not be counting down the days until school starts. Is that bad? Mmmm, no :)
I can't help that I'm excited! To see people I haven't seen in a year, to meet new people, to actually do SCHOOL, to sing my heart and soul out, and to learn new skills to complete and use my major!
I'M SO PUMPED! It's almost like, I don't see how people DON'T like school! (Ask me again how I feel about school during midterms and finals though, my answer/reaction will prooooobably be a tad different, ha).
Ohhh today has just been a good day! The sermon was good this morning, I had a cheeseburger for lunch, I got to lay out by the pool (something I haven't had time for this whole entire summer yet!) and swim around with my littlest brother, and then I met the bestie at starbucks and just caught up on life! Hit up tarjay afterwards and found the most perfect comforter on sale (Hosanna!) and THEN the rooming situation that I had been stressing worked itself out and I now have a registered room and a registered roommate and I was so happy I started jumping! Which didn't make the white mocha inside of me sit too well.. but I didn't care!
WHOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Today was such a contrast to my yesterday; I shall tell you about it:
I work, 8-5, Monday through Friday, every single week. That's just my life this past year. I love having my Saturdays off to sleep late, do absolutely NOTHING, and eat all day. Quite lovely. But this past Saturday, one of my favorite moms asked me to babysit her to precious ones from 8-3. I had to seriously sit down and think about that one, that's sacrificing the whole day! I ended up saying yes though, cause in the fall the older of the 2 kids heads off to kindergarten and I head off to school! (AND money is money!) So I wasn't jumping for joy at 7am that morning, but I did it. We did have a blast, I'll admit that =)
Afterwards though, I hung out with a friend -we went shoe shopping and sushi eating and movie watching- and with this friend, the way he converses with me and treats me comes across as someone who doesn't know anything about me and one who needs constant affirmation. It wears me out! By the end of the night I was so exhausted and high strung that I just wanted to scream and then not talk! Which is what I did.... after I got in my own car to head home. But seriously, is that even a friendship that's good for me?! And it's not just him either, it seems to be happening to all my friends from high school!
I think I'm hitting the time in my life when the friends I have from college become way more prominent and important and appreciated than the friends I had growing up. I guess this happens to everybody at some point: going from the friends who stay with you for those 4+ awkward years in middle school and high school to going to a comPLETEly different set/diverse group of people who know you for the developed/person yet to develop that you are.
Honestly, if the friends I have right now in college are the friends I have for the rest of my life, are in my wedding, have their kids play with my kids, etc., that is totes fine with me. I would be so happy with these people in my life for the whole rest of it :D
Now if you'll excuse me, it's past my bedtime
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Forgiveness
Forgive
(verb)
- to excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
- to renounce anger or resentment against.
- to absolve from payment
"These verbs mean to refrain from imposing punishment to an offender or demanding satisfaction for an offense; a conventional way of offering an apology. More strictly, to forgive is to grant pardon without harboring resentment."
Oh. My gosh. The word sounds nice and heartfelt, but seriously, forgiving is one of the hardest things (at least for me) to do!
It's one thing to become frustrated when you know you have to forgive someone, but it's a whole different bucket of worms when you're trying to forgive someone that YOU wronged in an almost identical sort of way. It kind of doesn't allow me to be mad at the person because I'm struggling to forgive them. Does this make sense? I hope so.
I've become close friends with a rut and a hard place on this forgiveness factor with certain people in specific circumstances; sometimes I feel forgiveness full force while other times I feel bitterness and resentment bubbling around like a lava lamp! I have it written down, somewhere, in my Bible that says, "True forgiveness is thinking back through everything without bitterness." Sometimes, I honestly don't think I'll ever get there. And yet, there are those other times where I already find myself thinking through things, and thinking about them as just things, not as feelings or anything else.
It's a process that God is still holding my hand, walking me through.
"Bear with each other, and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Colossians 3:13
"If you, oh Lord, kept a record of sins, oh Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness; therefore You are feared."
Psalm 130:3-4
"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."
Ephesians 1:7-8
(verb)
- to excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
- to renounce anger or resentment against.
- to absolve from payment
"These verbs mean to refrain from imposing punishment to an offender or demanding satisfaction for an offense; a conventional way of offering an apology. More strictly, to forgive is to grant pardon without harboring resentment."
Oh. My gosh. The word sounds nice and heartfelt, but seriously, forgiving is one of the hardest things (at least for me) to do!
It's one thing to become frustrated when you know you have to forgive someone, but it's a whole different bucket of worms when you're trying to forgive someone that YOU wronged in an almost identical sort of way. It kind of doesn't allow me to be mad at the person because I'm struggling to forgive them. Does this make sense? I hope so.
I've become close friends with a rut and a hard place on this forgiveness factor with certain people in specific circumstances; sometimes I feel forgiveness full force while other times I feel bitterness and resentment bubbling around like a lava lamp! I have it written down, somewhere, in my Bible that says, "True forgiveness is thinking back through everything without bitterness." Sometimes, I honestly don't think I'll ever get there. And yet, there are those other times where I already find myself thinking through things, and thinking about them as just things, not as feelings or anything else.
It's a process that God is still holding my hand, walking me through.
"Bear with each other, and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Colossians 3:13
"If you, oh Lord, kept a record of sins, oh Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness; therefore You are feared."
Psalm 130:3-4
"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."
Ephesians 1:7-8
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