Alabama is tough. And maybe I haven't been here long enough to proclaim that statement yet, but I've been here for a good chunk of time... a good chunk enough to say that it's a little rough for me. Let me fully define rough for you as I'm blogging it to be:
Rough. Verb. Adjective. (ruf).
A state of being that I find myself in from knowing nothing and no one around me. Not knowing where a grocery store is nearest to me. Not having any close girl friends, or girl friends at all, in my work/life environment. Watching my brother with friends from school and Justin make new friends easily while I'm with (stuck as I sometimes feel) kindergartners. Having the one person I actually know in Birmingham be in a different country this summer. Being 4 hours and 10 minutes away from my family and from Tennessee. Being sick with a COLD in the SUMMER, that's just awful! Having alone time that only happens when I get finished with a 9 hour work day (8-5) and the 4 kids at home have been put to bed (around 8:30-9)... So 12 hours, for sleeping and bathing and eating my own meals and napping and blogging and vegging and just being quiet. Having to have my personality out and pleasurable 12-14 hours of the day. Being only 5 minutes from my work, resulting in hardly a jam sesh in the car. NOT being from Birmingham, therefore NOT being able to catch up on my past school year with all the peeps I grew up with. Having a solid comfort be out of reach physically and sometimes internationally (when the wifi janks you).
I don't think I realized all of those things until Sunday night.. I had spent the night at Jordan's house and I went upstairs to pack my bags to return to my host home and the silence.... gosh the silence just overwhelmed me. I lost it and fell on the bed crying; it all kinda hit me at once. At this point, having been out of the house for awhile, school being done, and now living in a host home, I don't really have a familiar place to call home. At least it doesn't feel like it.
While this is uncomfortable, and frustrating, and overwhelming, and draining, goodness gracious it makes me cling to my Daddy so much more like a child than an adult. Which, in the Bible, childlike faith and belief are heavily advised, right? Right. Not that I've grown out of my dependency on God and am having to learn what it's like again, it's a prayer for strength but a different kind than I've needed before. But wonder of wonder and miracle or miracles, the verses I was reading in Psalms and Isaiah today talked about nothing but strength from God; and those basically just washed over me like a hot shower after getting rained on.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31
"Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always."
Psalm 105:4
Ahh. This is totally doable.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
FIRST DAY OF CAMP!!
As a few of you may know, or actually may not know, this summer will be and is my first summer away from home. No, you readers who scoffed, this is a big deal. May 27th-August 2nd is a long time; a whole summer, in another state, living in a host home, knowing no one except my brother. AGH!
After an overnight retreat, 3 days of 8 hour training, and a test on the camp handbook, camp has officially begun. I am happy to say that I am the proud of owner of 12 little kindergarteners (one of whom is named Kendall) and am able to contribute to a Christian camp and staff as a whole and hopefully be able to plant seeds in every kid I come in contact with. While only 6 K's showed up today, I can easily say this was one of the more exhausting days of my 21 year career on this earth. The first day of camp is always hectic anyway, anyone could tell you that; arriving earlier than the kids (6:45am), figuring out schedules and who's in your class and how long it takes you to get from one activity to the next and allergies and constant questions and on and on and on.
But hey, it's over. For today. My plans consist of dinner and sleep.
That's IT.
::Turning the page::
When was the last time you, as a believer or a non-believer, have been asked the question, "When you die and stand face to face with God, and He asks you why He should let you into His kingdom, what would you say?" Which, let's face it, is a question that basically believers ask people who don't believe in Christ when they're trying to evangelize. It's almost insulting for one Christian to ask another Christian what they're going to say when they enter the kingdom of heaven! Nevertheless, I myself, yes, the true Christian that I am (;D) was asked that very question this past weekend. I'll admit that it did take me a bit off guard for numerous reasons (see above) but it was surprisingly tasteful because I've really never been asked that question before. So it made me think.
The answer I eventually came up with was simple in words and in belief and in a way that I had never thought about before. Here it was:
"When I stand face to face with God and He asks me why He should let me in, I'll say, 'I'm in love with your Son and I've been married into your family.' "
After I said it, I realized how easy that was to say and truly believe, which was pretty cool (in my mind) since it caught me off guard. How's that for a Sunday School answer?!?
Last thing: My love, Jordan Mitchell, has officially moved to Haiti for 3 months. The first of 3 rounds of 3 months of course, but it's still pretty huge that he's there. It was really hard seeing him off at the airport with his parents... I guess cause we've spent everyday together since this past December talking and Skyping and being in constant communication that yes, it was a bit of a culture shock. Not that we can't communicate anymore or anything, it's just not as easy as texting or calling but rather using various phone apps for international texting, facebook messaging, and skyping when the wifi is running well over there.
Yeah, I've gotten sad; not by any means that I'm "alone" here and not used to him physically being beside me super often, but I think it mainly stems from just knowing that I don't ever want to be very far away from him, in my life, with anything, and so now that we're in different countries it can shake my emotions up a bit. But in reality, him moving to Haiti to work with orphans and further the Gospel and go on medical trips to far-off villages, it just sounds really awesome; it sounds like our true calling, to "GO therefore, and make disciples of ALL nations..." It's just a cool thing when you think about it!!
La la lalala. I'm going to eat and vegg. Praises to the King.
After an overnight retreat, 3 days of 8 hour training, and a test on the camp handbook, camp has officially begun. I am happy to say that I am the proud of owner of 12 little kindergarteners (one of whom is named Kendall) and am able to contribute to a Christian camp and staff as a whole and hopefully be able to plant seeds in every kid I come in contact with. While only 6 K's showed up today, I can easily say this was one of the more exhausting days of my 21 year career on this earth. The first day of camp is always hectic anyway, anyone could tell you that; arriving earlier than the kids (6:45am), figuring out schedules and who's in your class and how long it takes you to get from one activity to the next and allergies and constant questions and on and on and on.
But hey, it's over. For today. My plans consist of dinner and sleep.
That's IT.
::Turning the page::
When was the last time you, as a believer or a non-believer, have been asked the question, "When you die and stand face to face with God, and He asks you why He should let you into His kingdom, what would you say?" Which, let's face it, is a question that basically believers ask people who don't believe in Christ when they're trying to evangelize. It's almost insulting for one Christian to ask another Christian what they're going to say when they enter the kingdom of heaven! Nevertheless, I myself, yes, the true Christian that I am (;D) was asked that very question this past weekend. I'll admit that it did take me a bit off guard for numerous reasons (see above) but it was surprisingly tasteful because I've really never been asked that question before. So it made me think.
The answer I eventually came up with was simple in words and in belief and in a way that I had never thought about before. Here it was:
"When I stand face to face with God and He asks me why He should let me in, I'll say, 'I'm in love with your Son and I've been married into your family.' "
After I said it, I realized how easy that was to say and truly believe, which was pretty cool (in my mind) since it caught me off guard. How's that for a Sunday School answer?!?
Last thing: My love, Jordan Mitchell, has officially moved to Haiti for 3 months. The first of 3 rounds of 3 months of course, but it's still pretty huge that he's there. It was really hard seeing him off at the airport with his parents... I guess cause we've spent everyday together since this past December talking and Skyping and being in constant communication that yes, it was a bit of a culture shock. Not that we can't communicate anymore or anything, it's just not as easy as texting or calling but rather using various phone apps for international texting, facebook messaging, and skyping when the wifi is running well over there.
Yeah, I've gotten sad; not by any means that I'm "alone" here and not used to him physically being beside me super often, but I think it mainly stems from just knowing that I don't ever want to be very far away from him, in my life, with anything, and so now that we're in different countries it can shake my emotions up a bit. But in reality, him moving to Haiti to work with orphans and further the Gospel and go on medical trips to far-off villages, it just sounds really awesome; it sounds like our true calling, to "GO therefore, and make disciples of ALL nations..." It's just a cool thing when you think about it!!
La la lalala. I'm going to eat and vegg. Praises to the King.
Friday, May 24, 2013
The Summer of Two Years Ago
Crazily enough, as I'm currently enjoying a beach trip with my family in Destin, my mind flashes back to our beach trip 2 years ago in Destin at this same condo on this same beach; I had just finished my freshman year of college and I was still caught in the middle of everything. I remember calling my friend, Jake, and telling him how far in and stuck I felt, and how much I cried telling him I wanted out of everything I was involved in. I remember trying to tell my mom about everything... without actually telling her anything. And how everyday was an emotional roller coaster, and that aside from the pictures we took that year, I can't remember much of the vacation at all.
Gosh that was rough.
And now, here I am 2 years later, on this same beach in this same condo with my same family, enjoying the heck out of some sunshine and waves, going places together as a family, and I get to talk to the sweetest boyfriend in the world multiple times a day.
It blows my mind how much can change in 2 years... and how 2 years doesn't seem that long, seriously can feel like a lifetime; how everything inside of a person can change and their whole LIFE can be different!
GOD IS SO ROCKIN!
Haha
Aside from all of that being something that I've been itching to write, what's another topic I've wanted to get out of my fingers? Depth.
Depth in people, in experiences, in situations, in relationships, in life that surrounds you. And that's something I've noticed a lack in lately, and it's driving me absolutely insane! I don't know if being transparent is something that God persuades me to do on a daily basis but when I interact with people that I strictly surface level people, it just makes me feel weird; friends from high school, peers at school, even people in my family! It's not that I feel dumb or too open with anyone when I'm talking to/living life with someone, it has a tendency to make me wonder why they're surface level, why their walls are up, or even the extreme of why do I hang out with them? Now I'm not doing that to anyone who comes across as a shallow person right off the bat, but if you're going to be somebody who walks through this life with me and my Jesus, we better be able to get deep REAL fast! That's just how it works! We were created for relationships, not for receding interactions!
Now I am done. More beach. Ah :)
Gosh that was rough.
And now, here I am 2 years later, on this same beach in this same condo with my same family, enjoying the heck out of some sunshine and waves, going places together as a family, and I get to talk to the sweetest boyfriend in the world multiple times a day.
It blows my mind how much can change in 2 years... and how 2 years doesn't seem that long, seriously can feel like a lifetime; how everything inside of a person can change and their whole LIFE can be different!
GOD IS SO ROCKIN!
Haha
Aside from all of that being something that I've been itching to write, what's another topic I've wanted to get out of my fingers? Depth.
Depth in people, in experiences, in situations, in relationships, in life that surrounds you. And that's something I've noticed a lack in lately, and it's driving me absolutely insane! I don't know if being transparent is something that God persuades me to do on a daily basis but when I interact with people that I strictly surface level people, it just makes me feel weird; friends from high school, peers at school, even people in my family! It's not that I feel dumb or too open with anyone when I'm talking to/living life with someone, it has a tendency to make me wonder why they're surface level, why their walls are up, or even the extreme of why do I hang out with them? Now I'm not doing that to anyone who comes across as a shallow person right off the bat, but if you're going to be somebody who walks through this life with me and my Jesus, we better be able to get deep REAL fast! That's just how it works! We were created for relationships, not for receding interactions!
Now I am done. More beach. Ah :)
Monday, April 1, 2013
APRIL FOOLS
Whoa it's been awhile! Forgive me?
Living life lately has been moving so fast that I hardly have time to process one thing before I'm onto the next!
I'm finishing up my 14 classes, 18 hours, and +30 extra hours out in the schools for this semester. Seriously y'all, sophomore music majors in their spring semester do about 60 hours.
No. Lie.
Anyways, Easter was this past weekend which was great because I got to go home and CHILL. Haha ALSO my older brother and his girlfriend got engaged so I got me a new sister!!! That was fun seeing her ring and hearing the story and seeing her and my brother happy and ready to do life together =)
Speaking of significant others.... haha I have me one, if y'all didn't know! It's a long story, a great one; one worthy of a book! But a little too lengthy for a blog post, but hey ask me any day and I'll tell ya ;D But he came home with me for Easter and it was absolutely glorious. Hanging with the family, meeting the grandparents, telling me I sang well when I beefed it, he's definitely a keeper. :))))
On a closing note (because I have to get started on some homework that's due tomorrow...), if you've ever thought that a sin in only one area of your life can't effect every other area of your life, YOU'RE SO WRONG!!!
Sin janks you every time. That is all.
Living life lately has been moving so fast that I hardly have time to process one thing before I'm onto the next!
I'm finishing up my 14 classes, 18 hours, and +30 extra hours out in the schools for this semester. Seriously y'all, sophomore music majors in their spring semester do about 60 hours.
No. Lie.
Anyways, Easter was this past weekend which was great because I got to go home and CHILL. Haha ALSO my older brother and his girlfriend got engaged so I got me a new sister!!! That was fun seeing her ring and hearing the story and seeing her and my brother happy and ready to do life together =)
Speaking of significant others.... haha I have me one, if y'all didn't know! It's a long story, a great one; one worthy of a book! But a little too lengthy for a blog post, but hey ask me any day and I'll tell ya ;D But he came home with me for Easter and it was absolutely glorious. Hanging with the family, meeting the grandparents, telling me I sang well when I beefed it, he's definitely a keeper. :))))
On a closing note (because I have to get started on some homework that's due tomorrow...), if you've ever thought that a sin in only one area of your life can't effect every other area of your life, YOU'RE SO WRONG!!!
Sin janks you every time. That is all.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Groundhog Day!!! :))
As I'm sitting here with my snack of croutons and Naked juice enjoying this fabulous Groundhog Day, it's difficult not to thank God for things like this. For stupid snacks and pointless holidays, for Saturdays of doing nothing. I think days and things like this make the good foods and major holidays and days of production the important things that they are. Yeah. =)
Life is getting crazy and crazy busy with every passing day. Not to the point of overwhelming nation, but the point of having my days completely filled from 6:45am to midnight-thirty. Shoo!
This week I had some INCREDIBLE things happen! and I'll tell you about them right now! I applied for a job back in the fall and I honestly forgot about it until this past week I was told that I had gotten it! It's a desk job in a boys dorm, so I get paid to literally sit on my rear for 3 hours and check girls in and out of their dorm. This is probably the best job I've ever had. Well, almost. This is definitely the easiest job I've ever had. And the second thing is..... (drumroll)
I got assigned my schools this week!!! You know, for my education classes, part of passing the classes and a class all in itself is going out in schools in Jackson and observing 10 hours in a elementary school and 10 hours in an high school! I'M SO HACKIN' EXCITED!!! Like, seriously, after class, my friend Becca and I had to walk outside and have a bit of a freak out moment that consisted of making loud sounds and sitting down because we were weak in the knees. This is HUGE! These schools, these teachers I'll be observing, these kids, I could be working in my future work environment with my future co-workers! I could be referenced by teachers and principals for surrounding states! It's all so mind blowing and exciting and nerve racking and terrifying and glorious!!!
WHEW.
In chapel this week, while I should have been paying attention to the speaker, (sorry, speaker) I was flipping through my bible -specifically through Hebrews, cause it's awesome- and I came upon a verse that I had never seen (which that's been happening a lot lately) and it JUMPED out at me and I got so excited that I almost stood up in chapel and shared it with everyone! Since I didn't do that, I've decided to tell all my friends and then post it on the internet, because communication is flawless that way. ;).
Talking about the call to persevere
"Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possession."
Hebrews 10:32-34
People. That kind of rocks my world. A million times over every time I read that passage. It sums up so much and at the same time every sentence leads into so much more! AH!!
Go get you some Scripture. :D
Life is getting crazy and crazy busy with every passing day. Not to the point of overwhelming nation, but the point of having my days completely filled from 6:45am to midnight-thirty. Shoo!
This week I had some INCREDIBLE things happen! and I'll tell you about them right now! I applied for a job back in the fall and I honestly forgot about it until this past week I was told that I had gotten it! It's a desk job in a boys dorm, so I get paid to literally sit on my rear for 3 hours and check girls in and out of their dorm. This is probably the best job I've ever had. Well, almost. This is definitely the easiest job I've ever had. And the second thing is..... (drumroll)
I got assigned my schools this week!!! You know, for my education classes, part of passing the classes and a class all in itself is going out in schools in Jackson and observing 10 hours in a elementary school and 10 hours in an high school! I'M SO HACKIN' EXCITED!!! Like, seriously, after class, my friend Becca and I had to walk outside and have a bit of a freak out moment that consisted of making loud sounds and sitting down because we were weak in the knees. This is HUGE! These schools, these teachers I'll be observing, these kids, I could be working in my future work environment with my future co-workers! I could be referenced by teachers and principals for surrounding states! It's all so mind blowing and exciting and nerve racking and terrifying and glorious!!!
WHEW.
In chapel this week, while I should have been paying attention to the speaker, (sorry, speaker) I was flipping through my bible -specifically through Hebrews, cause it's awesome- and I came upon a verse that I had never seen (which that's been happening a lot lately) and it JUMPED out at me and I got so excited that I almost stood up in chapel and shared it with everyone! Since I didn't do that, I've decided to tell all my friends and then post it on the internet, because communication is flawless that way. ;).
Talking about the call to persevere
"Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possession."
Hebrews 10:32-34
People. That kind of rocks my world. A million times over every time I read that passage. It sums up so much and at the same time every sentence leads into so much more! AH!!
Go get you some Scripture. :D
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
the twenty-second
As I'm writing this, I am on the verge of sleep and downing a cup of coffee. Yes, sitting in my bed drinking some Cups coffee (After Hours, SO good) and getting ready for an hour slumber. So this will be a short post. Heads up.
Classes are back in swing, KIND OF. I've already had a paper due, and will have 2 more homeworks, another paper to hand in and a test to take before Friday. I missed school, right?!
I also just bought the books I'll be needing for this semester.
...
Those are my thoughts on that.
::in other news:: I went home for MLK day! (So, Sunday and Monday..) which was fun cause I got to surprise everybody! Well, everybody who was there haha they all had places to go and people to see! Which was fine, I just slept a lot :D It was weird being back cause I JUST left a week ago to come here! So it kinda made school seem like a week long adventure haha :P But at the same time, seeing all my stuff moved out and the room/space that I used over break being taken over by other things and other sisters made it (yet again) feel like I was moved out and moved out for good.
I don't know, I'd like to work here in the summer and continue to live here and only go home on breaks like Christmas and Thanksgiving, because eventually I want to end up teaching here! My heart -and the desire God gave me- is for the inner-city of Jackson elementary schools. I'm kinda ready to start that right now, but, you know, gotta finish this school thing first. Mleh.
Lastly, I shaved the other day. Because you're all dying to know that is why I told you; no other reason. I also might shave tomorrow or the next day.
The end :)
Classes are back in swing, KIND OF. I've already had a paper due, and will have 2 more homeworks, another paper to hand in and a test to take before Friday. I missed school, right?!
I also just bought the books I'll be needing for this semester.
...
Those are my thoughts on that.
::in other news:: I went home for MLK day! (So, Sunday and Monday..) which was fun cause I got to surprise everybody! Well, everybody who was there haha they all had places to go and people to see! Which was fine, I just slept a lot :D It was weird being back cause I JUST left a week ago to come here! So it kinda made school seem like a week long adventure haha :P But at the same time, seeing all my stuff moved out and the room/space that I used over break being taken over by other things and other sisters made it (yet again) feel like I was moved out and moved out for good.
I don't know, I'd like to work here in the summer and continue to live here and only go home on breaks like Christmas and Thanksgiving, because eventually I want to end up teaching here! My heart -and the desire God gave me- is for the inner-city of Jackson elementary schools. I'm kinda ready to start that right now, but, you know, gotta finish this school thing first. Mleh.
Lastly, I shaved the other day. Because you're all dying to know that is why I told you; no other reason. I also might shave tomorrow or the next day.
The end :)
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