Alabama is tough. And maybe I haven't been here long enough to proclaim that statement yet, but I've been here for a good chunk of time... a good chunk enough to say that it's a little rough for me. Let me fully define rough for you as I'm blogging it to be:
Rough. Verb. Adjective. (ruf).
A state of being that I find myself in from knowing nothing and no one around me. Not knowing where a grocery store is nearest to me. Not having any close girl friends, or girl friends at all, in my work/life environment. Watching my brother with friends from school and Justin make new friends easily while I'm with (stuck as I sometimes feel) kindergartners. Having the one person I actually know in Birmingham be in a different country this summer. Being 4 hours and 10 minutes away from my family and from Tennessee. Being sick with a COLD in the SUMMER, that's just awful! Having alone time that only happens when I get finished with a 9 hour work day (8-5) and the 4 kids at home have been put to bed (around 8:30-9)... So 12 hours, for sleeping and bathing and eating my own meals and napping and blogging and vegging and just being quiet. Having to have my personality out and pleasurable 12-14 hours of the day. Being only 5 minutes from my work, resulting in hardly a jam sesh in the car. NOT being from Birmingham, therefore NOT being able to catch up on my past school year with all the peeps I grew up with. Having a solid comfort be out of reach physically and sometimes internationally (when the wifi janks you).
I don't think I realized all of those things until Sunday night.. I had spent the night at Jordan's house and I went upstairs to pack my bags to return to my host home and the silence.... gosh the silence just overwhelmed me. I lost it and fell on the bed crying; it all kinda hit me at once. At this point, having been out of the house for awhile, school being done, and now living in a host home, I don't really have a familiar place to call home. At least it doesn't feel like it.
While this is uncomfortable, and frustrating, and overwhelming, and draining, goodness gracious it makes me cling to my Daddy so much more like a child than an adult. Which, in the Bible, childlike faith and belief are heavily advised, right? Right. Not that I've grown out of my dependency on God and am having to learn what it's like again, it's a prayer for strength but a different kind than I've needed before. But wonder of wonder and miracle or miracles, the verses I was reading in Psalms and Isaiah today talked about nothing but strength from God; and those basically just washed over me like a hot shower after getting rained on.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31
"Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always."
Psalm 105:4
Ahh. This is totally doable.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
FIRST DAY OF CAMP!!
As a few of you may know, or actually may not know, this summer will be and is my first summer away from home. No, you readers who scoffed, this is a big deal. May 27th-August 2nd is a long time; a whole summer, in another state, living in a host home, knowing no one except my brother. AGH!
After an overnight retreat, 3 days of 8 hour training, and a test on the camp handbook, camp has officially begun. I am happy to say that I am the proud of owner of 12 little kindergarteners (one of whom is named Kendall) and am able to contribute to a Christian camp and staff as a whole and hopefully be able to plant seeds in every kid I come in contact with. While only 6 K's showed up today, I can easily say this was one of the more exhausting days of my 21 year career on this earth. The first day of camp is always hectic anyway, anyone could tell you that; arriving earlier than the kids (6:45am), figuring out schedules and who's in your class and how long it takes you to get from one activity to the next and allergies and constant questions and on and on and on.
But hey, it's over. For today. My plans consist of dinner and sleep.
That's IT.
::Turning the page::
When was the last time you, as a believer or a non-believer, have been asked the question, "When you die and stand face to face with God, and He asks you why He should let you into His kingdom, what would you say?" Which, let's face it, is a question that basically believers ask people who don't believe in Christ when they're trying to evangelize. It's almost insulting for one Christian to ask another Christian what they're going to say when they enter the kingdom of heaven! Nevertheless, I myself, yes, the true Christian that I am (;D) was asked that very question this past weekend. I'll admit that it did take me a bit off guard for numerous reasons (see above) but it was surprisingly tasteful because I've really never been asked that question before. So it made me think.
The answer I eventually came up with was simple in words and in belief and in a way that I had never thought about before. Here it was:
"When I stand face to face with God and He asks me why He should let me in, I'll say, 'I'm in love with your Son and I've been married into your family.' "
After I said it, I realized how easy that was to say and truly believe, which was pretty cool (in my mind) since it caught me off guard. How's that for a Sunday School answer?!?
Last thing: My love, Jordan Mitchell, has officially moved to Haiti for 3 months. The first of 3 rounds of 3 months of course, but it's still pretty huge that he's there. It was really hard seeing him off at the airport with his parents... I guess cause we've spent everyday together since this past December talking and Skyping and being in constant communication that yes, it was a bit of a culture shock. Not that we can't communicate anymore or anything, it's just not as easy as texting or calling but rather using various phone apps for international texting, facebook messaging, and skyping when the wifi is running well over there.
Yeah, I've gotten sad; not by any means that I'm "alone" here and not used to him physically being beside me super often, but I think it mainly stems from just knowing that I don't ever want to be very far away from him, in my life, with anything, and so now that we're in different countries it can shake my emotions up a bit. But in reality, him moving to Haiti to work with orphans and further the Gospel and go on medical trips to far-off villages, it just sounds really awesome; it sounds like our true calling, to "GO therefore, and make disciples of ALL nations..." It's just a cool thing when you think about it!!
La la lalala. I'm going to eat and vegg. Praises to the King.
After an overnight retreat, 3 days of 8 hour training, and a test on the camp handbook, camp has officially begun. I am happy to say that I am the proud of owner of 12 little kindergarteners (one of whom is named Kendall) and am able to contribute to a Christian camp and staff as a whole and hopefully be able to plant seeds in every kid I come in contact with. While only 6 K's showed up today, I can easily say this was one of the more exhausting days of my 21 year career on this earth. The first day of camp is always hectic anyway, anyone could tell you that; arriving earlier than the kids (6:45am), figuring out schedules and who's in your class and how long it takes you to get from one activity to the next and allergies and constant questions and on and on and on.
But hey, it's over. For today. My plans consist of dinner and sleep.
That's IT.
::Turning the page::
When was the last time you, as a believer or a non-believer, have been asked the question, "When you die and stand face to face with God, and He asks you why He should let you into His kingdom, what would you say?" Which, let's face it, is a question that basically believers ask people who don't believe in Christ when they're trying to evangelize. It's almost insulting for one Christian to ask another Christian what they're going to say when they enter the kingdom of heaven! Nevertheless, I myself, yes, the true Christian that I am (;D) was asked that very question this past weekend. I'll admit that it did take me a bit off guard for numerous reasons (see above) but it was surprisingly tasteful because I've really never been asked that question before. So it made me think.
The answer I eventually came up with was simple in words and in belief and in a way that I had never thought about before. Here it was:
"When I stand face to face with God and He asks me why He should let me in, I'll say, 'I'm in love with your Son and I've been married into your family.' "
After I said it, I realized how easy that was to say and truly believe, which was pretty cool (in my mind) since it caught me off guard. How's that for a Sunday School answer?!?
Last thing: My love, Jordan Mitchell, has officially moved to Haiti for 3 months. The first of 3 rounds of 3 months of course, but it's still pretty huge that he's there. It was really hard seeing him off at the airport with his parents... I guess cause we've spent everyday together since this past December talking and Skyping and being in constant communication that yes, it was a bit of a culture shock. Not that we can't communicate anymore or anything, it's just not as easy as texting or calling but rather using various phone apps for international texting, facebook messaging, and skyping when the wifi is running well over there.
Yeah, I've gotten sad; not by any means that I'm "alone" here and not used to him physically being beside me super often, but I think it mainly stems from just knowing that I don't ever want to be very far away from him, in my life, with anything, and so now that we're in different countries it can shake my emotions up a bit. But in reality, him moving to Haiti to work with orphans and further the Gospel and go on medical trips to far-off villages, it just sounds really awesome; it sounds like our true calling, to "GO therefore, and make disciples of ALL nations..." It's just a cool thing when you think about it!!
La la lalala. I'm going to eat and vegg. Praises to the King.
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