in His name we overcome

Guys, this past week, ohhh goodness.
It is, by default, busy anyway because we're getting close to midterms and I'm in my sophomore year at college but it's extra busy because I've had to deal with this concussion and all the side effects of:
-a solid headache for 2 weeks
-sensitivity to light and sound
-occasional dizziness
-having trouble concentrating and focusing
-more likely to become irritable and/or depressed
-zero physical activity for a solid week if not more
All of that has upped my frustration and busy-ness and awareness of how much I CAN'T do.
All of that to say, "...the joy of the Lord is my strength," has never been a more take-to-heart verse than it has now. And it really changed my outlook on the whole thing. I knew what I could and couldn't do in my whole strength and it wasn't a whole lot at all. And in contrast, I knew exactly what I could do in His strength that surpasses my own understanding. Haha sometimes I feel like it's so complicated.. but it's as simple as not leaning on yourself and instead on the One who knows all to be in control.

That's been a recurring thing I've been struggling with since I've been here: leaning not on my own understanding. Not doing things my way. Gosh, we've seen how that's worked! Especially this past week, Friday, it marked exactly a year since I went home last year. Whoa. Yes, my emotions have been crazier than I'd like to admit and I'm remembering a lot about last year that I don't necessarily care to but through it all, God is continually whispering, "Kendall, My Child, this is why; Why you struggled with this, why you were home, why I gave you this story, and most importantly this is how I worked it for good and how I will continually work it for good." My mind keeps getting blown out of its sockets!! And then I have to remember: of course this doesn't make sense in my own understanding, His ways are not my ways. Never have been never will be. That can be worrisome sometimes, but at the exact same time it's something I can full well rest in and have such a peace in.

God is so good. And it becomes more evident every day.