Happy Halloween

Yes yes yes, we all know today was halloween, whoohooooooo. The only halloween-y thing I did was do a Trunk-or-Treat at my preschool (which all of my kids were SO stinkin ADORABLE!!!), and wore a white v-neck that said "costume". Thus how I celebrated the October holiday. Pfffft.
This past weekend wasn't what I wanted but it was what I needed. I wanted to be back at school, going to an informal, hanging out and laughing and partying with all of my friends, but once again I had to face the reality that I was here. Not there. So I had the miserable face on most all of Friday and Saturday but it hit me hard yesterday.
I DID get out of the house all day Friday and Saturday and spent it with good friends and good food and coffee and corn mazes and new friends and shopping though so points for Kendall! Ha, just kidding.
Sunday I went to my friends' church and it's a really really small one down in midtown. I like my medium-big sized church, so I didn't know how if I'd be "feelin this" or not. It was small, so small, but we walked in right as they were starting worship. I haven't really been in a guitar-drums-contemporary-worship-songs setting for a long time. That kind of scene is the one that gets to me the most. And it's about knowing all the songs and all the words so you can sing loud, it always is, but then it's about stopping... and listening to the words like you did the first time... and realizing that those words you sing over and over and the melodies that you harmonize with over and over... they're exactly what God is giving you because He knows where you're at and know you need them right now.
Yes I know that song "Our God is Greater" who doesn't?! But when I stopped and just listened to the words, "Our God is Healer, OUR God,"  it kind of presented me at a loss for words.
Because so many times I need God for venting, or I need Him for praying, or I need Him to make this better or make that worse, or I need Him to help others or help me (with selfish things), but I don't think I have recognized that God was Healer of ALL things, and the only thing I needed to do was to just ask. The only Person who could heal me in the deepest way possible, in the truest form possible, in the longest most lasting most intimate promises possible.
My soul, for the first time in awhile, rested. And I was at peace.
Peace is a rare thing, gosh it feels so good.
Me and Jesus also had some quality time in the car; turned off the radio (for once) and just started talking out loud. It was kind of weird at first, but once I started going I couldn't stop. I didn't know I had that much to say or vent or yell or whisper about! Funny thing how He already knew everything I was going to say and yet was still patient and listened?
Mmm :)