Yesterday was a pretty really good day.
I took sisters to music lessons at Faith, and stopped by Sonic first (of course) where I landed a vanilla coke. Now, Dr. Pepper is my go-to drink, but every now and again I enjoy the mess out of a vanilla coke during happy hour.
While they were in their lessons, I went to Target strictly to go jean shopping because I'm in dire need of a good new pair of jeans. I finally found some that fit me the right way and looked good and according to Target I am now a size 4. Every size and shape is different but I could live with going by Target's branding for the rest of my life. I didn't think I had lost THAT much weight, I mean I know I have cause my eating is kinda sorta all outta whack, but this is kind of awesome. Kind of.
The rest of my time was spent writing letters to my dear friends at school, explaining what is going on in my life. Those were hard to write, not gonna lie, especially the one to my big, but I know God is going to use those and He's got their hearts and know the outcome of their reactions. I have to trust that or I'll go crazy.
Last night I met up with a friend from waaaaaay back in the band days (5th and 6th grade I think..?!) for dinner and ice cream. We got a lot of good talking done. I didn't expect myself to spill everything that was going on in my life, but I did, all through dinner. Which he made up for because he talked all during ice cream haha. We were at TCBY's for four hours. I've never been at an ice cream place that long, first of all, SECONDLY I've never seen TCBY close. It was an experience that's for sure :P
One thing about my friend, Jordan, he is incredibly animated and comical. If nothing else was accomplished last night, I laughed. And I laughed hard. The "dry-heave" laugh as Jordan would say. About the dumbest things too! It took a lot out of me, physically, mentally, and emotionally, but it felt so so good! I'm ready to laugh and keep laughing and to not just have a spurt of laughter only to have it go away shortly after. I got home around midnight and fell asleep pretty quick. Did I sleep 12 hours? Maybe.
Went and had lunch with mom today at Lenny's (phillycheesesteak sandwich, yes please) and we talked about a good bit. One of the things mom told me was that she had been praying about my situation a lot lately but had had God tell her, quite loudly and clearly, that He had something better for me. That was weird hearing from my mom because I wanted to hear that from God myself, but maybe that was His way of telling me that...?
It's freaking hard to imagine that from everything I've been through and from everything that I've had taken away and from everything that I've fallen in love with, that God has something BETTER. That blows my mind. But I DO know that if I let Him have everything and my whole entire heart, He'll lead me to a place that has the environment and people and education that I need and He'll make me fall in love with everything so much more than I ever did at MC. While I can't fathom that, I can picture it. If that makes any sense.
Mom and I picked up my sister, the 16 year old one, all decked out in my clothes and she drove us home cause she's getting her permit on Halloween. Now, I love her to pieces, don't get me wrong at all. BUT I do not like it when she's borrowing my clothes! Of course all sets of sisters have this problem but I've been really good about staying out of her stuff and her clothes and her EVERYTHING since I've been back because I've operated only in my clothes and my things. She's abided by the same rule but her argument today was that all her clothes were dirty and she couldn't ask me to borrow my clothes because I was asleep. I have no nice words.
Yes, I would love my own room with a door and four walls and a bed and a closet in my room and a place for all my shoes and privacy and a bookshelf or desk to put all my things in and on and a place I can call my own and a place people don't need to come in and practice piano in. I would love all of that. But right now that's not a possibility. Sucks.
I've thought about my summer, and I think I'm going to apply to Crossings Camps. The camp I went to last summer that I wrote about on my old blog (www.idratherbegodsgirl.blogspot.com). I think God is telling me to work there this summer. I can picture it, strictly because I worked there a bit last year, but God has control over all of this. Bring it on.
I'm going to bed now. I'm so tired.
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