Last night was spent listening to my downloaded MC Singers music; our spring concert from this past spring and then all the music I could find on iTunes that was what we had started working on this fall.
I'm not gonna lie, listening to all that music and knowing I was either in the choir that sang it or that I had a choir that was still working on all of this new music without me, was incredibly hard.
My numb cycle broke Wednesday night, so the tears were plentiful. They haven't ceased. And the littlest things will get me to tears, I almost prefer the numbness now.
It hit me tonight as I was driving home from dropping my sisters off somewhere: All of this music I've downloaded, from the music my choir is working on this year, I'll never be able to perform it. Not with them, on stage, under Dr. Meaders, feeling the emotion and singing it the way it's supposed to be sung.
Yeah, that straight up slapped me tonight. I hate that feeling.
And it times like these hard ones that I wish I had someone who could relate to me in this aspect! I mean yeah, both of my parents were in college choir and they had a hard/amazing director so they can understand and relate to all of that, but they haven't ever had it taken away. They had that choir for 4 years. Just like I was supposed to.
I personally hate just sitting around, taking one day at a time, and figuring out what the next step is. I know it's pretty vital, but I want to know now and I want it to be MC. That's all.
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