Whopper Coffee.... coffee with whoppers in it

Hi blog world,
I know I haven't written in awhile, and what I have written hasn't been in much depth. This week has been so long and all the days have run together and taken forever to get through. I didn't think working 8-5 would take this much out of me but it does! It times like this past week that I wish I had a job where I could have some alone time, or some Kendall time; at my daycare I have to have constant energy all the time and be 100% involved and interactive 100% of the time.
The "sleep" medicine my doctor gave me was mostly just to calm me down (keep me from being so tense and stressed out all of the time), has a pain reliever in it for my killer headaches, and has an antihistamine in it so it makes me sleepy. The only problem is it knocks me OUT and keeps me super groggy the next day!
Anyway
I went to House Church with my little brother on Friday night. I was wanting to stay numb and stoic all night because emotionally I was on the verge of breaking down and I didn't want to be. But a little after it started, one of the guys went to get his ipod and make us listen to a new band he had found. What music does with and for a music artist escapes words. I needed it. I had a couple of girls come and pray with me and as soon as the first one sat down next to me my walls were down. I cried and cried and cried and felt so broken. One of the things they kept saying was, "You're not guilty, you're not full of shame, you're forgiven. It's gone. It's done. You're free." and that made me cry even harder but for the first time since I've been home it started to ring true.
Now I'm not saying I've had an incredible breakthrough, yet, but I am saying I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not anywhere near it yet, but I can see it. It's hope. And it feels good.